FlyingBlind

I’m taking a break to add to what Ladies Man was discussing on his blog about cheating, and I figured I’d throw my two pesos in. First off, there are pros and cons to cheating. There are common sense rules to cheating too. Let me cover a few, if not all of them, here.

The Choice

Even if no one is hitting on you, and you are happy in your relationship, there is a pre-determined choice you must make. Do you, or do you not cheat if something falls in your lap. Of course there are variables. If you are smitten with your significant other, then it’s a no brainer. You don’t cheat. If you are on the rocks with your significant other, then you have to weigh options. things like “If a woman who is hotter than my current s.o. wants me, do I go for it?” “If the woman who wants me is known to go to orgy parties, do I go with her to one?” These are important right? Not so much. The truth of the matter is if you think you would cheat, you will cheat. If you think you won’t cheat, you will cheat. It happens because we are human. We are not as intellectual as we’d like to think we are. We are animals, all of us, and it just takes enough of a push with the right person and the right situation to push us over the edge into a lust filled beast of pure sexual energy. That may be a bit over the top for some, but if you’ve never felt that way about another person you don’t know what you are missing.

Pros and Cons

Once you’ve made the choice to cheat, you weak hearted bastard, you will have some pros and cons to deal with. Some of the pros could be that the girl you are cheating with is a complete freak in the sheets and this makes you gravitate towards her more. She may be hotter, faster and more passionate too, but this brings up a con. What the fuck is she doing with YOU!?! You have to ask yourself that question, not because of any low self-esteem you may have, but if she’s going with you to a hotel to bump uglies, chances are she’s doing it with a lot of other folks. Condoms, condoms, condoms…always carry them. Yes I know they don’t help against every VD, but don’t be a fool and wrap your tool. Cons that show up from time to time are things like the cheater girl vs. the s.o. Do they know each other? Bad idea. Do they have similiar interests? Again, bad idea. You’ll find that people who share similiar interests are bound to run into one another, whether they know each other or not is iirrelevant. If you are with one, you are bound to be seen by the other.

These of course are all common sense. I guess the question still remains though, through it all, would you do it or not? In my life, I’ve cheated. Was it appropriate to do so? At the time, I justified it because I was not getting the TLC that I was giving to her. She just straight up didn’t want sex for like 3 months. She was probably cheating on me, but fuck her, she’s gone now. Then there was an ex-gf of mine who gave me permission because her sex drive wasn’t as high as mine. Permission! Yeah, there are cons down that road too, but I’ll save that for another post. All in all, if you are going to cheat, make sure all your bases are covered as well as your prick. You don’t need to be bringing any presents home for the old lady. “Suck my dick honey, but watch for the crabs.” doesn’t go over so well, you know? If you aren’t going to cheat, no matter if the hottest woman on the planet was naked on your lap, then you are a stupid dousche for not doing it. If you are reading this and wondering if I’m an insensitive asshole, think about all the times your s.o. has gone out with the girls, leaving you at home. You think no guy is going to be offering her dick while she’s out? Think again. That’s why there are trust issues. People like me tell you these things and you think it may happen to you. It can. It’s happened to me, I’ve done it to others, it’s going to happen to someone out there. Good luck to all of you.

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At ASU, if you wanted to get a dorm room, and that dorm room was built for two people in mind, you could request that another student who was also your friend, be your roomie. This was great for friends who were going to the same school together. This was also great for the cute girl down the hall, because her girlfriend lived with her.

I didn’t know they were dating. In fact, you would have only assumed they were the best of friends. This was not the case. I took the cute girl out on a date. She was a petite brunette with a nice rack. She was not drop dead gorgeous, but she was cute from all angles. You know what I’m talking about. Some women, from a certain angle will look really hot, then they turn another way and you’re like “What the fuck just happened to her?” This girl, no. Any angle you could imagine, she was just good looking. Not stunning, or model-esque, but attractive. Anyways, I had gone on a date with her. Nothing fancy, we met for lunch and hung out with one another most of the day until dinner then went back to my room and made out. No, we didn’t have sex on the first date, but we had gone far enough that a second date was guaranteed. Except that a week had gone by, and we were both too busy to setup another one.

During that week however, her roommate had asked me out to dinner. Not being exclusive with cutie, it was okay to go on a date with her roommate right? That’s what I thought too, that it was a.o.k. So we went out, had a good time and ended up making out in my room. She was a great kisser, better than cutie but only because she had fuller lips. They were soft and moist and deliciously addicting. They made you want to kiss more, and so she asked me back to her room. First thing I asked was if cutie was home, which she said no. So we went down, and it felt kind of awkward because I had just made out with cutie the week before. So there we are, in her and cutie’s room, making out and maneuvering towards the bed. We’re stripping each other as we make our way there, kissing, rubbing each other’s bods…it was game time. We laid down and then something happened that threw me off. It was another set of hands on me.

You guessed it, it was cutie. She had been hiding while we were making our ways to the bed and had been down to her undies by the time she joined us. She was even more attractive naked than clothed, to be sure. Both of them really, but cutie’s body was definitely better. You can’t go wrong with two 18 year old, firm bodies smashed against either side of you. I was pretty sure at that point in time, that I was going to cum just thinking about being inside both of these girls. i mean seriously, what are the odds of having a three-some? The situation has to pretty much form on its own. It’s one of those things that you can’t really plan for unless you happen to be a swinger couple.

So there I was, entangled in not one, but two bodies. It’s hard to remember exactly everything that was done, because it lasted for so long. Yes, i held out for a good 30 minutes before my first orgasm. The girls didn’t necessarily need me when I needed rest, they had one another. It was a beautiful thing, but being a giver in the sack, I tried my best to please them both as well as I could. i have always looked back at this engagement as a “gatorade moment” because I know now it would have made an excellent commercial. Anyway, I stayed the night. It was one of the most eye opening, sexual experiences of my life. My appreciation for the female body was definitely enhanced after that night. I had sex with each of them again, on separate occaisions, but never had the three-some reoccur. i highly suggest that if you get the chance, do it.

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The term “Cougar” has been around a looooong time. It has been posted on the web recently in a great article by some great thinker whom I cannot remember. However, if you don’t know what one is it is basically a 40ish woman with long fingernails, too much make-up on her face, wearing leopard print something and she’s on the prowl for young meat. She will destroy you when she gets you, there is no question.

Then you have the “Buffalo”. This is one of the terms I’ve used over the years for women who were a bit larger than the average girls. They may have a bit of a muffin top, or some cankles, but still sort of pretty in the face. They are a bit slow when it comes to anything regarding wit or humor, and even slower in responding to drunken sexual advances. In other words if you said, “I’d like to bend you over and feed you 12 inches of hard meat.” they would look at you then reply with something like, “What kind of meat is it? I’m allergic to…” You get the idea.

And finally, we have the “Bear”. A beast of a woman, she will most likely be wearing something ten sizes too small on each portion of her body. Flesh will be exposed in such a way that as she moves, it reminds you of a large gathering of critters trying to break out of an egg sack but just can’t get there. She hates everyone, and even if you are being nice to her, she despises you. She’s unhappy because of her appearance but wants to get laid just like everyone else, and as such, will wait till the perfect drunken moment to strike at the weak willed frat boy or the virgin in the crowd that just wants it over with.

I’m telling you about all of these types of women because it just so happens I had sex with two of the three mentioned during my time at ASU, and these are their stories.

Cougar was a crazy old broad. She was the kind of mom that would pick up the booze for a college bash so that she could score a freshman or sophomore. She relished the hunt for young cock and she had her sights set on me the moment I came in. I was in my usual delivery mode, slightly stoned and looking for a beer the moment I got there. I made my way to the kegs, and I emphasize kegs; 4 of them, and began to fill my cup when I get a tap on the shoulder. It’s Cougar and she wants to talk. As it turns out, she’s my contact for the weed. She has me come back to her room to pay me and have a smoke. She has me go in first and then locks the door behind her. Mind you, this is usually standard practice for anyone who is doing a buy. You don’t need some snot-nosed college kid accidentally coming in while you are in the middle of dealing and see the transaction. So we sat down, she got the rolling papers and I gave her the bag. As she rolled a nice fatty up, she talked to me. Not like a woman on the prowl, but like someone my own age. She was asking me all sorts of questions and in turn, I’d ask some back. Eventually, the convo turned to sex. She commented on how she thought I was cute and very nice for a guy who was dealing drugs. She had said in the past, many of the people she dealt with were jerks or assholes and that I was refreshing to be around. I notice now, we’d been talking for an hour, gone through two joints and she had moved herself closer without me ever noticing. I was trapped.

Being trapped wasn’t so bad, I have to admit. It was a rush to be with an older woman, however when it came to getting it on…she destroyed me. She had maneuvered me to where my back was literally against a wall, and as she brought a third joint over she just sat in my lap. Straddling me she asked,”Do I make you nervous?” In my mind, nervousness was not the issue. The issue was trying to not stab her in the vagina through my jeans. She knew she was getting me riled up, and she was toying with me. “No, not at all,” is what I said to her. She lit the joint, took a deep drag then gave me a shotgun. For those of you who have no idea what the term means, it’s when you take your inhaled smoke and blow it into the other person’s mouth/lungs. This, coupled with her lips on mine, was enough to start it off. So we went at it. On the chair, the floor and her bed. When it came to the bed, she unleashed what I can only describe as a tsunami force fucking of my life. She rode me until my dick almost broke. My chest had been clawed up like I had been dragged through a rose garden. In an hour, she had managed to give me the fuck of my life (at the time) and when it was over, she promptly showed me the door. Not nicely either. She just got up, gave me my clothes, kissed me on the cheek and shoved me out of her room. I went and had another beer and left, feeling as if I was used like toilet paper.

Buffalo was a drunken mistake, let me clarify that right now. I was at a friend’s dorm room, drinking with about eight other people. We were all kinds of fucked up. There was mad dog 20/20, Cisco, Boones Farm, left over hard liquor…it was a lot, and we finished it all that night while playing a game of asshole. Buffalo was a friend of the girl who was the current resident in that room. She was visiting from UofA and was staying the night there. As the night wore on, I couldn’t feel my face. I was that drunk. I think I puked somewhere at some point, but I nor anyone else can remember it if it did happen. Close to 2 a.m. I woke up from being blacked out. The room was dark, I was on a futon and I felt a warm mouth around my dick. I thought it was the girl whose room I was in. Oh, contraire. It was Buffalo and she was giving me head like it was the last dick she was ever going to suck. It was good, don’t get me wrong, but my brain couldn’t wrap itself around the concept of something feeling so good coming from a girl I had no interest in. She moved her hands under my legs and was milking me with her mouth. I was shocked that she was so good at giving head, but realized it probably was because she had a LOT of practice on things like popsicles, twinkies, candy bars or chrome car exhausts. After a while, I was feeling a bit dizzy. Almost like being on a tilt a whirl too long. Buffalo managed to get a condom from somewhere, put it on me, and go to town riding my junk. I think I came in like six or seven minutes. The blow job she had given was enough to get me close then feeling that hot hole made me finish it out like a champ. The next morning, I woke up with her half laying on me. After carefully gnawing my arm off in a state of quiet anguish, I got up and went back to my room where I disinfected myself with lysol and cried myself back to sleep.

Just make sure that the bear never gets you, or you will be dead…

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I was never a huge party goer in high school, mostly because of the gangs. Not that they were bad guys, but you know that some shit would go down if a rival gang knew a party where their enemies were drinking it up, and that they’d start some shit. However, in college, you only had to worry about someone’s boyfriend catching you fucking his girlfriend in the bathroom while she’s throwing up in the toilet at the same time. No it wasn’t me, and yes it happened.

I was at this party making a delivery, and there was a group of girls who were obviously enjoying themselves. One in particular stood out from the crowd, only because she was in her bra and panties and dancing on the pool table with a drink in each hand. Her friends were there rooting her on to take it all off, which in turn got every horny guy to stand in the background cheering her on to do it. “Chicken shit!”, “Loser!” and “If you can go this far, why not all the way?” was coming in from all sides of the table while Beck blared out over the stereo. As she started to undress, two things happened. One, everyone held their breath and two, it became dead quiet. She took off her bra and let her nicely formed c-cups jiggle free from their constraints, her nipples like eraser heads, poking all of us in the eyes. Then, she maneuvered in such a way as to get her panties off using one hand, while the other covered her sweet pink taco. This of course was to tease us all as she raised her hands in triumph screaming, “How do you like me now?” It was a no brainer as two or three guys were trying to get on the pool table at this point. Women were raging with all sorts of emotions. Some pissed, some excited, others just laughing, it was chaotic.

On to her friends…There were three of them. All of them attractive, all of them wearing see through clothing and all drunk. As the party progressed, more people would show up and more people would leave, but these three girls were always together. Never separating for more than a few seconds to refresh their drinks and take care of naked-dancer-girl. They had managed to beat off the hounds and keep her close but she was wasted. So wasted girl needs to use the restroom in the most urgent manner, because she was going to puke her guts out. Somehow, in the confusion of getting to a bathroom a guy had slipped in with her and locked himself, and her, in the john. Meanwhile, the three friends who had done such a swell job at protecting their friend, were busy chatting away about which guy they wanted to have buried inside them. Not that I was listening, but it was kind of hard not to considering how loud they were shouting out potential penis playmates out in the open.

In walks boyfriend and his friends. His nickname was boyfriend because he was naked dancer girl’s boyfriend. It just so happened that during naked dancer girl’s exposed skin caught the attention of boyfriend’s roommate who was at the party. He in turn called boyfriend and boyfriend showed up. So now that we’re all up to speed, remember where the girl was? That’s right. She was in the bathroom, puking…or so we all thought. Boyfriend gets the owner to unlock the bathroom door (easily done with a phillips head screw driver if it has the hole in the handle) and they open the door to see the girl doubled over the toilet while the guy who slipped in there was on his knees behind her, pants around his ankles and balls deep in her vagina. This was a very bad thing as the girl looked up to see boyfriend, boyfriend saw the guy and then it all went silent for a split second before boyfriend went into a frenzy. Boyfriend takes two steps in, grabs the guy, and yanks him out on his ass into the living room, punching him repeatedly in the face. Girlfriend is getting picked up by two of the three friends and getting her dressed while she’s trying to puke. Boyfriend kicks the living shit out of the guy and decides to be respectful and beat the ever loving shit out of the guy outside, as so not to get blood/urine/excrement on the party giver’s carpets.

All this was happening like a live youtube show. It was, in a word, hillarious. Only because I wasn’t getting my ass beat for fucking boyfriend’s girlfriend. After about ten minutes, he came inside (or it seemed like 10 minutes) and grabbed his girlfriend and took her home…in her car. This was beneficial to me because the three friends that were there were now stranded. It turns out that naked dancer girl was the driver and her boyfriend took her, and her drunk ass, home. This was a good thing, as it was late and after the excitement that had ensued most everyone went home save for the super drunk and/or passed out. My hunting had just become a helluva lot easier. I went out back, drink in hand, to have a cigarette. Yes, I used to smoke cigs when I drank, along with the whacky green, but this time I  just needed a few moments to reflect on the night’s events. Standing there, I hear the back door open up and it’s one of the three friends. She asked me for a smoke, which I gave to her, and we began talking. First it was about the party, then how they were all stranded and finally it came down to personal questions. She asked how old I was, if I had a girlfriend…etc, and I asked the same things of her. It turns out she was fresh out of a relationship and she was 22 years old. Nice. She had bright blue eyes, dark hair and a clean, silky complexion. Her perky b-cups were perfect on her frame of about 5′ 3″ and she seemed to be able to hold a conversation without yelling. She asked if I was okay to drive, which I wasn’t, but I said I was okay enough if I just had some water and about 30 minutes to clear my head. She went inside and came out with water. She asked me, in the sweetest voice, if I could give her and her two friends a ride home. Now I know what you’re thinking. Would I take advantage of their plight and agree to take them somewhere in exchange for sex? You’re damn right. I asked her what she would be willing to trade for a ride home, gas wasn’t exactly free. She smiled and said she would make it up to me as soon as we got to where we were going.

So we piled into my car, which wasn’t mine. It was my dad’s. I had it on loan for a couple weeks while he was out of town, and now had three semi-drunk, semi-concious chicks in it. We were in Tempe, and they lived about eight miles away. It was 3am, cold and wet outside. So I took it carefully because I wasn’t exactly in the right mind frame to be driving. Her two friends passed out as we drove to their apartment. When we got there, bright eyes asked me to help her take them upstairs since they could barely stand. We got to the apartment and I helped her get them to their respective rooms. That’s when the magic happened. I say magic, because she managed to pop my dick out of my pants faster than Chris Angel can say “Watch this.” She was dragging me to her room, with her hand firmly held around my cock, and squeezing. We get to her room and we start taking clothes off, making out and rubbing each other all over. She had condoms, which was a plus in my book, and after about 30 minutes it was over. Her orgasmic screams were like that of a dying porpoise. It was scary at first, but for some reason it turned me on. I passed out in her room, and when I woke the next morning I showered with her, fucked again, then said my goodbyes. No numbers were exchanged, but we did happen to run into each other a couple times at other parties. It was one for the books for sure.

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Summertime before college was bullshit. All sorts of parties, no action. I mean, getting drunk is great but where was the pussy? Evidently not where I was. There were girls out and about but they were going back to high school. I was hunting for my age or older and wouldn’t settle for anything less. As the days of summer came and went, I could only find solace in masterbating furiously to lots of porn. I was in a slump…again. I was not the Don Juan type who could go out and pick up tail as if i was going to the grocery store. It took careful planning or a chance meet through a friend of a friend…and so as the last of my free days before school I accepted that I had to go into the newest of hunting grounds on a cold streak.

ASU has a huge campus and just getting to class on time was a chore. I was no slouch in high school, but the workload I had let my advisor talk me into along with the distance between classes, tired me out. I was barely keeping my head above water scholastically, but that was probably because of all the new people I was meeting. In high school, it’s easy to get a good group a friends. Your choices are limited to about 800 students. At ASU, you met groups of friends and it was no longer just a few, but a shit-ton. This is also where I met Weed for the first time. I was a drinker, socially and for the most part constantly, but when I met Weed we hit it off like two old friends. Now, Weed knew a LOT of people and as it just so happened a lot of people knew Weed. He was a hit at every party, a guy you could count on when you needed him the most. He was your best friend and he could tell you how to get laid. He spoke to me.

At a random party early in my first semester, I was asked to come back and smoke a fat blunt with a couple of the regulars. We were passing it around and were in a getting-to-know-you scenario when a fight broke up out front. The guy running the party and his two friends ditched out to deal with the issue leaving me, and this stoner from another planet, finishing the Blunt of Destruction. He told me that he dealt pot out of his dorm room, which was literally a stoner’s throw away from where I lived. He asked if I’d like a job helping him sort and distribute his goods for a small percentage of green leaf. He would have me deliver to other dorms, collect money and bring it back while I was between classes. If I was trust worthy enough, he had me do party runs. This is where it made hunting easier.

A week or so after that I was running packages of dope around campus. Yes it was highly illegal and dangerous getting caught, but how are they going to know when you are amidst 50,000 students? Answer: They aren’t. On this particular trip, I was meeting a couple gals at the all girls dormitory. They had strict rules for male visitors. We were allowed there for no longer than 30 minutes and had to have a badge. So I made my way up, via hall monitor, to their dorm room. As soon as the door closed we did our deal and they asked me to sit a while. Her roommate offered to smoke out with me while the girl who made the purchase took off.

“Don’t worry about the monitor, she smokes with us. You can stay as long as you like,” she said to me.

This statement made me get a little hard. I had just met this girl and already she’s letting me stay. I took her offer and hung out while we smoked. She was an art major, focusing her studies on contemporary art. She was very cool, laid back and not bad on the eyes at all. We were just finishing up a second joint when she asked if I had a girlfriend. This got me a bit harder, because I could see where this was going. Like most hookups, they start out the same way. A getting to know you phase, followed by a grazing touch or two. Maybe a look and a smile, but you can <em>feel </em>it. You can sort of sense that something was going to go down, and down it went.

She got up from her chair and went to her desk to light some incense. She asked me to grab her CD case off of the top shelf of her closet while she went to use the restroom. When she came out, my jaw dropped. She had changed from her sweat pants and t-shirt into some short workout shorts and a tube top. Wow. She looked amazing. As I picked up my tongue off the floor she came right up to me and kissed me. We started making out furiously, well as furiously as two stoners could and ended up in her bed.

Two hours later, the other girl gets back to the room and we are sitting in the chairs exactly as she left us (minus the change in clothes). She looks at her roommate and then looks at me and asks, “You two have fun fucking each other?” Busted. The other girl just smiled and said that she was giving me a tip for my delivery. It was one of those moments where you all laugh then the uncomfortable silence seeps in. I took that as my cue to leave and said my goodbyes to the two of them. I eventually fucked the other one, but not until her roommate had moved out with her boyfriend. In comparison, I’d say the first one was much better than the second, but only because she seemed to enjoy playing with me more. Ahhh college…

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